Saturday, February 12, 2011

BULLETIN: 'Egypt is Free,' crowds chant after Mubarak quits

A story from AP Mobile:

'Egypt is Free,' crowds chant after Mubarak quits

*NOTE: pay attention to the lead a write a quick comment on its effectiveness.


2 comments:

Brandon George said...

The lead uses thrity-two words, six words over the twenty-six word limit. The use of adjectives such as 'intensely uncertain,' 'stalwart ally,' and 'volatile Middle East,' are not necessary in the lead. They take up words and can be used in the body paragraphs. However, the lead gets to the point and also it includes the who, what, where, and why. Overall, it is effective for this story.

Brandon G.

Durati Ahmed said...

The lead does exceed the word count limit of twenty-six words as Brandon mentions, and there were also some poor word choices that could have been replaced with better words.

-Durati Ahmed